Dawg Pound Daily bettor’s guide to the NFL – Divisional playoff edition

It is the Divisional Round of the NFL Playoffs and our fearless prognosticator is here with all the information you need for this weekend’s action.

C’mon Cleveland Browns’ fans, admit it. You loved Wild Card weekend – if only to savor someone else’s misery for a change.

Schadenfreude (literally “taking joy in seeing someone’s failure or misfortune”) rained over Cleveland, starting when our former homeboy hero Brian Hoyer’s post-game performance was even worse than his historically awful on-field performance in the Houston Texans’ 30-0 laughingly lopsided loss to the Kansas City Chiefs.

Hoyer’s stat line masked just how terribly he played in his first (and likely last) playoff start, as he had two overthrows and a strip sack fumble before most fans had even taken their seats. Then with Houston inside Kansas City’s five-yard line – in a gaffe that all of Browns’ Nation saw coming – Hoyer threw into triple-coverage for the first of his four, yes four, interceptions. Think back to his 2014 bonehead goal-line picks versus the Atlanta Falcons and Indianapolis Colts, only these were uglier and on a global stage.

How bad was Hoyer? Houston fans were screaming for their backup quarterback: Brandon Weeden.

After each turnover and countless three-and-outs, Hoyer retreated to the end of the bench, sitting alone with that all-too-familiar pout glaring out from under his ball-capped bald head. It was the same visage Browns fans saw after Hoyer was deservedly benched after his performance in 2014 cost Cleveland winnable games against the Texans, Buffalo Bills and Indianapolis, a game where the Colts spotted Cleveland two defensive touchdowns.

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Hoyer’s opening post-game quote: “One game does not make my career, one game does not make my career,” as if repeating it reduces his culpability in the 30-0 shellacking.

Not a single word about letting down his team or Houston fans – makes you wonder if Hoyer learned anything about Jesuit humility and Rust Belt factory floor brotherhood at Cleveland’s St. Ignatius High School.

Browns fans were also assured enjoying one rival fanbase’s disappointment in the late Saturday game, and “enjoy” doesn’t begin to describe the sheer ecstasy of gloating as the Pittsburgh Steelers and Cincinnati Bengals bickered, fought and literally cheap-shotted one another until midnight.

When Vontaze Burfict and Adam “Pacman” Jones gift-wrapped the game on not just one, but two unsportsmanlike conduct penalties on the same play, what Browns fan didn’t think Helmetgate – which cost the Browns only a regular season opener, not the Bengals’ legitimate Super Bowl shot.

Schadenfreude, you gotta’ love it, baby, so let’s keep it going in the opener of the NFL Divisional Playoffs:

• What was I thinking to trust Andy Reid less than Brian Hoyer? This week Reid gives Browns fans a deja vu replay of the pre-genius Bill Belichick. Chiefs (+5.5) in their matchup with the New England Patriots.
• The Arizona Cardinals are talented, balanced, well-coached and they demolished the Green Bay Packers 38-8 just three weeks ago. But Carson Palmer has never won a playoff game, not a good omen versus Aaron Rodgers. Packers (+7).
• Cam Newton hasn’t won a playoff game either, but Russell Wilson always seems to. Seattle Seahawks (+3) against the Carolina Panthers.
• Browns fans’ schadenfreude runs out of steam Sunday afternoon as we have to watch an ailing Big Ben Roethlisberger carry the Pittsburgh Steelers on another game-winning drive, maybe on a touchdown pass over T.J. Ward? Steelers (+7) against the Denver Broncos.

2016 Playoff record: One win (Bengals +3), three losses (Washington Redskins -1, Seahawks -5, Texans +3).  Regular season 37-36-2.

P.S.: Craziest 2016 prediction – not totally outside the realm of possibility with Ray Farmer gone, Hue Jackson in and Hoyer likely on the outs in Houston. At some point, a Hoyer return to Cleveland.