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Cleveland Browns: Boats, mystery boxes and the options at quarterback

By Andrew Seibt

Dec 19, 2016; Landover, MD, USA; Washington Redskins quarterback Kirk Cousins (8) leaves the locker room prior to the game against the Carolina Panthers at FedEx Field. Mandatory Credit: Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports
Dec 19, 2016; Landover, MD, USA; Washington Redskins quarterback Kirk Cousins (8) leaves the locker room prior to the game against the Carolina Panthers at FedEx Field. Mandatory Credit: Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports /
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The Cleveland Browns’ quarterback options this year could be categorized into two categories based on a Family Guy clip. Which option do you like?

While watching Family Guy a few nights ago I came across an episode I found to be quite interesting. From Season 2 Episode 8, the episode is called “I am Peter, Hear Me Roar,” and here’s the clip I found humorous:

Around the :13 mark you’ll see the exchange between the shady salesman and Peter about his boat compensation. My favorite line is, “A boat’s a boat. But the mystery box could be anything.” This quote has far too many parallels to the Cleveland Browns’ current quarterback scenario.

The reason I pulled this clip was to shine a light on some of the different quarterback options as well as the different perceptions from both sides. To make this easy, I’m splitting the players into two groups:

In one group, you have the boats. The boats represent a current NFL quarterback because of the simple fact they are current players in the NFL. However, these options have various levels of talent and experience, and the popular thinking behind the theory is that because they’re already in the NFL, you may think you know what you’re getting.

The second group, the mystery box, represents the crop of rookie quarterbacks that comes in every season to provide each organization with the fascination of the unknown. They’re even more of a mystery because so far there is no clear indication of where/when/or in what order these players will be taken in the draft, so teams must decide what they’re willing to do if scenarios play out in certain ways come draft night.

Related: Some potential big-name options at QB

Whether a GM chooses a boat or a mystery box is neither right nor wrong, but rather one’s perception of what they think is a better choice. One person could think the boats currently on the market aren’t worth all that much, and are more likely to take a calculated risk in the mystery box.

Another could believe they see serious value in one of the boats, making the decision easier in their eyes. It comes down to each organization’s evaluation on specific players.

The Boats

  • Kirk Cousins: I am all aboard the Kirk Cousins bandwagon. If Washington is dumb enough to let a franchise quarterback walk, then the Browns should jump at the chance to grab him. People say his stats are deceiving, but any quarterback that can fire a football the way he does could be a franchise quarterback for me any day.
    • Prediction: Washington tags Cousins for a second straight year, potentially to work out a trade?
  • Jimmy Garropolo: Multiple teams are rumored to have interest. I think he provides an instant upgrade to the QB position. No learning curve is enticing, as well as understanding how to prepare each week. Rumor has it the Patriots aren’t willing to part with him, however.
    • Prediction: Pats trade him to the highest bidder to best maximize their Super Bowl window with Tom Brady.
  • Tyrod Taylor: A solid option if Buffalo decides to let him walk. He gives a team that bridge quarterback with starter upside while providing an opportunity to develop a young quarterback. Also keeps your draft picks to provide impact players on the roster. Contract numbers are something to keep an eye on.
    • Prediction: Bills retain him as their own bridge QB to develop Cardale Jones.
  • A.J. McCarron: Some believe he may be more valuable than Garoppolo due to the extra contract year/another year of evaluation and then is a RFA. I don’t see Cincinnati giving a team in the division a potential franchise QB, but who knows.
    • Prediction: Stays put in Cincinnati for the time being. Andy Dalton makes a lot of money, but regressed last season. I also don’t see the Bengals trading within the division to the Browns.

The Mystery Boxes

  • Deshaun Watson: Makes big time plays in big time moments. Athletic, drives the ball but threw too many picks. Will do really well in interviews, but I want to know more about why he didn’t utilize a chance to separate himself in a rough QB class at the Senior Bowl.
    • Prediction: Drafted in the top 15
  • Mitch Trubisky: My hometown pick. I may be biased because I watched him dominate at my beloved Mentor High School, but Mitch has the chance to be the best QB out of this class and he will prove as such as the draft process progresses. Like all of the top QBs this year, he will need some time to adjust to the NFL learning curve but the arm talent and dual-threat capabilities are there.
    • Prediction: Drafted in the top 15
  • DeShone Kizer: The forgotten man out of this group thus far. A guy that will get back into the conversation at the combine with his size and athleticism. Great build for the AFC North, and has a live arm but struggles to see the field and had a questionable finish to his final season at Notre Dame. Will be interested to learn more about his ability to read through progressions and understand pre-snap coverages.
    • Prediction: Drafted in the second round
  • Pat Mahomes: The more I watch him, the more I like his size, athleticism and arm talent. The air raid system scares me, as well as the transition to taking snaps under center. Draft stock will rise at the combine due to athleticism.
    • Prediction: Mid-to-late first round selection

As you can probably tell, the Family Guy clip was a mere metaphor for different ways of thinking. The mystery box lends itself to a general manager who doesn’t see value in the current quarterbacks available outside of the draft. The boats are viewed as a perfect opportunity to upgrade your team with an asset you believe can succeed in the NFL now.

Personally, I’m all over the place on what quarterbacks I want. I love the fascination of the unknown, but also think that if you’ve got real value sitting in front of you, you’ve got to capitalize on it.

Next: The potential pursuit of Kirk Cousins

In my opinion, Kirk Cousins is a giant yacht that the owners for some reason doesn’t want to commit to. And if he hits the market and the Browns can use their $100 million to pry him away, it could give them a chance to join the Yacht Club that is NFL playoff contenders.

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