Browns discussions that probably did (not) happen at the 2018 NFL Combine
By Mike Lukas
A facetious look at the kinds of conversations the Cleveland Browns decisions makers could be having while at the NFL Scouting Combine
Evaluating player workouts isn’t the only productive part of the NFL Combine.
That’s according to Jeff Diamond, former Tennessee Titans president slash former VP/GM of the Vikings. In his recent been-there-done-that combine piece for the Sporting News, he gives a former insider’s insights about what really goes on at this yearly NFL audition.
"“…despite all the hype about more than 300 draft-eligible prospects participating in boring on-field drills, the most important activities are taking place away from the cameras and spotlight.I’m talking about lots of conversations — legal and illegal under NFL rules — between general managers with their contract/salary cap guys often in tow; conversations with agents for soon-to-be free agents like Kirk Cousins and for players already signed but targeted for pay cuts or release. There also are trade talks among teams looking to move/acquire players or improve draft spots.” — Diamond"
Technically GMs and head coaches aren’t allowed to talk to player agents about free agency deals until March 12, but, according to Diamond, these NFL-illegal talks take place every year at the combine. Apparently, these illicit conversations happen in the:
"“skyways between the hotel and the Convention Center leading to the stadium.” — Diamond"
Maybe they chat over morning coffees or while puffing end of the day cigars and sipping cognacs. But regardless of USC QB Sam Darnold’s Trumpian hand measurements (9 3/8”, almost an inch smaller than Wyoming QB Josh Allen’s 10 1/8”) or Saquon Barkley’s unreal number of 225-pound bench reps (29, tied with Georgia RB Nick Chubb), Diamond says,
"“ The real action is taking place behind the scenes.There, GMs and agents are talking big bucks, especially when quarterbacks such as [Kirk] Cousins and [Drew] Brees are the subjects.” — Diamond"
With that in mind, here are the NFL-illegal conversations that Browns GM John Dorsey and head coach Hue Jackson may or may not (probably not) have had so far during the 2018 NFL Combine:
NFL-illegal Talk #1
This chat did or did not (not) take place between Dorsey and Drew Brees’ agent Tom Condon during the hand washing part of a restroom break:
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Dorsey: Hey Tommy, we sure could use your guy in Cleveland.
Condon (rolling up sleeves at sink): Come on, John, you know Drew wants to finish as a Saint.
Dorsey: Tell him if he becomes a Brown, we’ll give him $40 mil for one season – we’ve got the cap to do it.
Condon (soaping up): Saints’ll take care of him, don’t you worry about that.
Dorsey: But the Browns’ll put him in the Hall.
Condon (rinsing off): He’s already going to Canton, John, he’ll be a first ballot shoo-in.
Dorsey: No, I mean the Rock-and-Roll Hall of Fame, Tommy. Tell him we’ll get him his own exhibit, right between Zeppelin and Hendrix.
Condon (toweling off): He doesn’t even sing or play an instrument, John.
Dorsey: He rocks, Tommy, he rocks hard, and that’s what Cleveland needs right now. You tell him he becomes a Brown, he’s going to two Halls, guaranteed.
Condon (leaving, shaking head): You’re better than this, John.
NFL-illegal Talk #2
This particular back-and-forth may or may not (not) have taken place between Jackson and Cousins’ agent Mike McCartney at the free nacho bar directly outside the combine workout facility:
Jackson (holding out a napkin full of jalapenos): Mikey – get you some of these hot peppers and tell Kirk we need him in Cleveland.
McCartney (scooping chips): No offense, Hue, but Kirk is ready to take a winning team to the Super Bowl, not babysit a couple of young QBs.
Jackson (nibbling jalapenos and sweating profusely): Look, we know he likes to make people laugh, we heard about his hilarious Shanahan imitation at the 2012 rookie training camp. You tell him if he becomes a Brown, he can headline the Cleveland Improv whenever he feels like doing a set. Plus, free food and drinks. Plus, $40 mil.
McCartney (pouring cheese): You’re better than this, Hue.
Sure, those exact words were probably (not) spoken, but nevertheless let’s hope that Dorsey and Jackson used this year’s combine to set the Browns up with the best free agent quarterback available. Cleveland is not an easy sell these days, mind you, so if they have to promise a few outside-the-box extras – like a guaranteed lifetime friendship with Lebron James or an endless tap at the Great Lakes Brewing Co. – then so be it.
Next: What if Joe Thomas does decide to retire?
It’s time to start doing whatever it takes to get back to winning.