Cleveland Browns: 2018 NFL Draft Party Prep
By Mike Lukas
We’re here to help get you ready for your party on the Cleveland Browns biggest day of the year, the 2018 NFL Draft. Enjoy.
If you’re a Cleveland Browns fan, this year’s NFL draft is the biggest one yet.
With the first and fourth picks in the first round and nine picks overall, not only does this 1-31 team have a chance to snag their franchise quarterback, they can also upgrade their defense, their O-line, their receiver corps and only general manager John Dorsey knows what else.
And the fact that (thanks to Dorsey) for the first time in forever the number one pick is still completely unconfirmed and truly unknown only adds to the suspense of what will happen to the Browns this Thursday through Saturday.
For obvious reasons many Browns fans drink, so of course you’ll want to attend a draft party.
If you’re too busy (or lazy or drunk) to throw your own bash, no sweat. If you can get to downtown Cleveland by 6:00 p.m. Thursday April 26 just find your way to the First Energy Stadium’s municipal parking lot known as the ‘Muni Lot’ for the official Browns 2018 Draft Tailgate. They’re saying it’s going to be the biggest tailgate party in Cleveland and there’ll be oversized screens, food trucks and beverage portables, current players and alumni plus Chomps, Brownie and Swagger.
FYI those last three are the Browns mascot, elf and official ‘live’ animal, respectively.
And since the actual live draft in Dallas, TX doesn’t start ‘til 8:00 p.m., every orange and brown clad body at the Muni Lot should be properly lubed and riled up in time for that first fateful pick.
Or maybe you’d prefer a smaller, more manageable draft party.
No problem – the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s John Petkovic has your backs. This thoughtful man has compiled a list of 25 watch parties and bars around the city. Rent a bus and do a draft pub crawl. Or snag an Uber and belly up to your favorite bar with a hundred or so other Dawg-faced highly-buzzed lunatics. Misery turned possible glory loves company so gather together and watch Dorsey either blow it or change the entire course of Browns history.
For those Browns fans with man-caves, you’ll (of course) host a more private affair.
For you such gentlemen, years ago Bleacher Report provided a list of:
"“some of the rituals that fill out the draft for hardcore fans and keep the casual fans coming back year-after-year.” — Zach Kruse Bleacher Report"
It gives you a more complete rundown on the important phrases and moments of the draft – like ‘on the clock’ and ‘the green room’ and ‘the live phone call/announcement’.
Prepare your drinking games accordingly.
And since there doesn’t appear to be any 2018 NFL Draft drinking games lists currently google-able online, feel free to use AwfulAnnouncing.com’s 2017 NFL Draft Drinking game and change names wherever appropriate.
Examples:
"“Drink every time Mel Kiper Jr. says, “Tremendous upside” or “Stiff hips.”Drink every time the following is used to describe a white player: ‘Hard-nosed’, ‘Gym rat’ or ‘Deceptive speed’Chug every time you hear ‘Tim Tebow’ or ‘Johnny Manziel’”"
And finally, many old-school Browns fans (like me) will watch the draft alone.
No drinking games, no laughing or screaming fools around. Just a sad, darkened room with a la-Z-boy in front of the TV, a half-empty bottle within reach and maybe a few bowls of salty snacks strewn about.
Oh yeah, and on our laps we’ll have (as always) our giant brown bucket full of skepticism.
You know, the one that holds the many doubts and fears that Browns old-timers cart around everyewhere. These stem from all the busted first round picks and broken quarterbacks plus all the front office bumbles and ridiculous off-season miscues that Browns fans have had to live with since at least the 90’s.
Every skeptical Browns fan fears that Dorsey’s 2018 draft picks will only add to the brown bucket of sadness we all keep.
Who knows, optimistic fans say Dorsey’s drafting system actually works. Maybe his crew will make the right selections and change the course of the Browns’ losing ways. Except no matter which players he picks this weekend, nobody will know the impact they’ll make on the Browns for months, so in the mean time all anyone can do is speculate.
And freakin’ hope.
No matter where you Browns fans spend this 2018 NFL Draft Weekend, be safe and obnoxious and do your best to be optimistic. This is year three of the five-year-turnaround and everything appears to be going according to plan. And so far, the correct people seem to be in charge of the Browns front office and they’ve been rebuilding the team nicely.
Next: What’s so fascinating about Josh Allen?
But for those Browns fans who remain skeptical doubters (like me), here’s a simple drinking game you can play all season long:
Chug.