Cleveland Browns: Twas the night before draft day

The Cleveland Browns have the first pick in tomorrow’s NFL draft and John Dorsey has been tight-lipped about his choice. With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, I present to you the scene tonight in Berea as John Dorsey announces his pick to Jimmy and Dee Haslam.

Twas the night before draft day, when all through The Land,

Not a creature was stirring, just as they planned;

All the prospects were ranked on a white board with care,

In hopes that their name would be called anywhere;

The coaches were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of quarterbacks danced in their heads;

And Jimmy in his nightshirt, and Dee in her cap,

Had just settled down for a short pre-draft nap,

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,

Jimmy sprang from his office to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, he flew like a flash (Gordon),

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

When what to his wondering eyes should appear,

But a tackling sled and eight tiny reindeer,

With the little old driver, going hither and yon,

He knew in a moment it must be St. John.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

“Now, Darnold! now, Allen! now, Mayfield and Rosen!

On, Jackson! On Barkley! On Chubb even Nelson!

To the end of the field! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So on to the field the coursers they flew

Where they were met by none other than Coach Hue!

Rosen stood cooly detached; Darnold threw in the rain;

Baker planted a flag; Allen threw a ball to a plane,

As Jimmy picked up his head, and was turning around,

into Berea, St. John came with a bound

He was dressed in a sweatshirt, and glasses to boot,

And despite the late hour, he just couldn’t stay put;

A bundle of notebooks he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And he looked a man who was in the know.

“But who will our pick be?” Jimmy candidly said.

A wink of John’s eye let him know he had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And handed Jimmy a notecard; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, he confirmed who he chose.

He sprang to his sled, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

Next: 2018 NFL Draft Party Prep

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

“Happy Draft Day to all, and to all a good night!”