Top-5 Cleveland Browns touchdown celebration suggestions

CLEVELAND, OH - NOVEMBER 04: Duke Johnson #29 of the Cleveland Browns celebrates his touchdown during the second quarter agains the Kansas City Chiefs at FirstEnergy Stadium on November 4, 2018 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images)
CLEVELAND, OH - NOVEMBER 04: Duke Johnson #29 of the Cleveland Browns celebrates his touchdown during the second quarter agains the Kansas City Chiefs at FirstEnergy Stadium on November 4, 2018 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images) /

Now that the Cleveland Browns are playing better on the field, they need to start worrying about style points. Here are the top-5 touchdown celebration suggestions.

The Cleveland Browns only scored 2.4 touchdowns in each of their first eight games, but that important average increased to 3.5 touchdowns per game in their last two outings.

Now that the Dorsey-Williams-Kitchens-Baker Browns are finding the end zone more consistently, it’s obviously time to have a serious discussion about touchdown celebrations.

In a professional league where it’s not only acceptable but also expected for every scorer to call a ridiculous amount of attention to himself, it seems worthwhile to talk about some celebratory possibilities for Browns players who are fairly new to scoring so they don’t embarrass themselves by merely spiking the ball.

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Or worse yet, by simply handing the ball to the ref like someone who’s been in the end zone before.

How humiliating would that be?

Speaking of which, remember the Browns tight end ‘Fusion Dance’ touchdown celebration?

Impressive execution but odd to anyone who doesn’t get the Dragon Ball Z anime reference.

When considering how to over-celebrate a touchdown, or any big play for that matter, it might be helpful to keep these three important factors in mind:

  1. The Team’s Home Town City
  2. Team Historic and Current Events
  3. Including Teammates

Actual props would be wonderful to use, of course, but as we all saw when New Orleans Saints receiver Michael Thomas used a hidden cell phone to recreate Joe Horn’s cell phone touchdown celebration, your team will be penalized for that, which is universally frowned upon.

Keeping those important aspects in mind, here are my top-5 suggestions for Browns touchdown celebrations.

Celebration #5: Better watch the tape, Hue!

Explanation: This celebration will only work against the Cincinnati Bengals in Week 12 or Week 16 since it’s based on fired Browns head coach turned Bengals turncoat Hue Jackson, who had a reputation for having to ‘watch the tape’ before he could comment on anything the Browns did.

Execution: The Browns player who scores the touchdown against the Bengals sits on the back of another player (who’s on all fours) and ‘watches the tape,’ which consists of two or more other offensive players recreating the touchdown just scored. Bonus points for recreating ‘forward’ and ‘backwards’ in unison like a video machine.

Celebration #4:  The Price is Right!

Explanation:  One of the more popular celebrities to come out of Cleveland is comedian Drew Carey, also the current host of the long running game show The Price is Right.

Execution:  An offensive player lays down next to the goal post and lifts one leg up to be the handle of ‘the Big Wheel’ and the Browns player who scores the touchdown  pulls the leg to spin the wheel. Other players use their waving arms and hands in front of the goal post to recreate the spinning wheel until it lands on the big prize – a touchdown, which everyone signals with arms raised.

Celebration #3: No thanks! Condoleezza Rice ‘turning down’ the Browns head-coaching job

Explanation: A nod to how many Browns haters actually believed the recent false ESPN new story that general manager John Dorsey was considering interviewing former secretary of state and long time Browns fan Condoleezza Rice for the job of the Browns’ next head coach.

Execution: The Browns player who scores gets on his knees in front of another player and offers him the football, begs for him to take it, but the other player, like any intelligent woman with zero professional football coaching or playing experience but a total heart of gold would, politely refuses. The other players surround them shaking their heads, pretending to Tweet rudely.

Celebration #2: What part of ‘Rock and Roll ‘do you not understand?

Explanation: There’s no bigger or better Cleveland attraction than the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, so why not pay tribute to the museum that’s brought so much positive attention to the city by the lake.

Execution:  The Browns player who scores pretends to be rock legend Gene Simmons of Kiss, tongue wagging and head shaking ‘no’ as he walks by and scoffs at a wall of players impersonating various rap and hip-hop artists.

Celebration #1:  A Christmas Story Celebration

Explanation: Arguably the greatest Christmas movie ever made, A Christmas Story, was filmed in Cleveland and to this day continues to be a holiday must-see.

Execution: Led by the Browns player who scores, as many Browns players as possible must lick the freezing cold goal post and get their tongues stuck while waving their arms wildly. Bonus for shooting a real BB gun at the scoring player and cracking his helmet visor. Double bonus if Swagger grabs the football in his jaws and runs away while the players pretend to eat Chinese food.


Got a better one?

Next. Mayfield, Chubb, Callaway trending up. dark

Add your own Browns touchdown celebration suggestions in the comments section below, bonus for the ridiculous yet doable.