A 2018 Cleveland Browns Obituary

The Cleveland Browns season ended with a 26-24 defeat to the Baltimore Ravens but it was a season that brought thrilling moments to Cleveland.

It is with great sadness that we announce the recent passing of the 2018 Cleveland Browns.

The hope-bringing 7-8-1 Browns were surrounded by family and friends as they took their last regular season breath with 0:00 minutes remaining on the clock after a brave and hard-fought Week 17 battle with the now 10-6 Baltimore Ravens.

Though the 2018 Cleveland Browns had already been eliminated from the NFL playoffs and knew this would forever be their last game in this world, it was obvious by the final score of 24-26 that they never saw it as pointless and never once did they quit.

Always playing with pride and for their city throughout the season, and especially in this final defeat, the 2018 Cleveland Browns have brought a level of hope, competence and comfort to a city far too used to mourning senseless accumulations of losses.

Oh, what a team this was.

The deep affect that this 2018 Cleveland Browns team has had on the city of Cleveland will be forever felt, remembered and cherished by every Browns fan they played for.

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Not a season will go by without paying mental and emotional tribute to this particular collection of players who wore the orange and brown so willingly and effectively despite the 1-31 ghost that came with, who single-handedly changed how professional football is played and enjoyed in 21st century Northern Ohio and who taught a city so used to losing football games how to expect to win.

From the new general manager’s initial moves and HBO’s Hard Knocks, to that first win in two seasons against the Jets and eventually the shifting of coaches, and finally those two- and three-game winning streaks (including the double-Bengals spanking), the endless memories of this teams’ fruitful lifetime are truly priceless.

Seems like it was just yesterday they came to life through free agency and draft picks, but sadly it’s time to say goodbye to this wonderful collection of athletically gifted football players.

This Cleveland history-altering Browns team will be missed but never forgotten.

The 2018 Cleveland Browns are survived by…

…their loving father and general manager John Dorsey, who with incredible football wisdom and foresight selected all 53 players, including the draft class of a lifetime, who then loved and treated him like family and who played for him with passion and reckless abandon every time they stepped onto the gridiron.

…their step-uncle and interim head coach/defensive coordinator Gregg Williams, who with fiery and loving discipline turned a group of talented individuals into a team of interlocking pieces that worked and sweated in powerful unison towards the single goal of winning.

…their step-mama and offensive coordinator Freddie Kitchens, who despite the world wondering who he was and why he thought he could develop rookie Baker Mayfield showed just how brilliant and perfect he was for the job as he turned the scrambling boy into a pocket-passing man who wins.

…their little brother and rookie quarterback Baker Mayfield, who most of the football world called too short, too cocky and too reckless to lead a team of men, and yet who, through hard work, impeccable preparation and other-worldly talent developed into a professional field general who got the ball to his play-makers with hissing speed and blinding accuracy.

…their entire 53-player family – Mayfield, Jarvis Landry, Nick Chubb, Myles Garrett, Denzel Ward, Joel Bitonio, David Njoku, Antonio Callaway, Joe Schobert, Duke Johnson, and the talented list goes on and on – who all came together at first not knowing whether this season would be different than its pitiful priors, but who bought in to Dorsey’s system, worked endlessly hard and as a result became the third part of an ongoing turnaround that promises to bring NFL postseason play back to the city of Cleveland.

…their grandparents and owners Jimmy and Dee Haslam, who have finally figured out that when you hire those who are great at evaluating talent, eventually talent comes to your team, and if you patiently let that garden grow and remove the weeds when they pop up, in the end you’ll have a winner.

…their pesky ‘weeds’ and fired coaches Hue Jackson and Todd Haley, who had they not led this team the wrong way for half a season the Browns could never have known what the right way feels like when it started happening in Week 9.

…their loud-mouthed in-law and TV blowhard Colin Cowherd, who must now deal with the fact that the player on this 2018 team he called too short and nonathletic to be a first overall draft pick won the Rookie of the Week award six times (at least) and broke the single-season rookie record for touchdown passes with 27.

…their millions of friends and Browns fans, who for the first time in decades had a total blast watching football every week of the season because this team could and did win, and they did it in a way that made those who believed in them feel as proud as they’ve ever felt about Cleveland football.

And add to them the countless others in the football world who were affected by these Browns and their unflinching commitment to being the best.

Oh, what a team this was.

Currently there is no memorial planned, but knowing the sports fans in the city of Cleveland and their proclivity for public (and in the case of last season, sarcastic) displays of affection, a gathering will certainly take place where mourners can laugh and cry, hug and chug and grill meat as they share stories about this fantastically memorable team. Stay tuned for details as they are released.

In lieu of flowers, you are encouraged to buy Browns swag and wear it proudly in public (and private) as well as purchase Browns season tickets again, but this time knowing you’ve invested in a winning Browns future.

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2019 Cleveland Browns Birth Announcement

It is with great pleasure and boundless excitement that we announce and invite you to witness the birth of the 2019 Cleveland Browns starting on February 4th, 2019.

Details will be forthcoming, but this new baby’s definitely going places, so don’t miss out.

Oh, what a Browns team this will be!

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