Cleveland Browns vs Ravens score predictions: Prepare for a sweep?

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BALTIMORE, MARYLAND – SEPTEMBER 29: DeShon Elliott #32 of the Baltimore Ravens tackles Jarvis Landry #80 of the Cleveland Browns in the second half at M&T Bank Stadium on September 29, 2019 in Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images) /

Writer: Mike Lukas

Let’s keep it totally real here, shall we?

If the 6-8 Cleveland Browns are going to somehow beat the 12-2 Baltimore Ravens in Week 16, six things (at least) MUST happen right off the bat:

1. Lamar Jackson must develop a debilitating foot situation, maybe the kind of “bone spurs” that keep a fella contained in the pocket and unable to avoid the hits, because without defensive ends Myles Garrett and Olivier Vernon playing, the Browns are going to have a tough time chasing a spur-less Jackson down.

2. Head coach Freddie Kitchens must see the light (it’s glaring!) and actually lean on the most productive running back in the league, Nick Chubb, and his dual-threat companion, Kareem Hunt, and figure out how to get the Browns’ rushing attack started long before the first quarter gets halfway done.

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3. Baker Mayfield must first shave that cursed and creepy pedo-stache that seems to have doomed his play from the get-go and then totally third-day-beard it on Sunday. ‘Cause the Browns #6 showing up under center lately isn’t the same SOB that used to never overthrow the ball so often or take no (or an L or a sack) for an answer. And that other Mayfield seemed to have a face-full of growth.

4. Odell Beckham Jr. and Jarvis Landry must grow actual wings and fly above the Ravens’ 7th ranked pass defense (that’s intercepted 12 passes and buried opposing quarterbacks 34 times) because without working feathers those two can’t seem to get open often enough for Baker to find them.

5. The Browns secondary must grow actual third arms, helpful this Sunday because without the dominant pass rush Cleveland has been deprived of (thank you suspensions and injuries!), the third arms would help Denzel Ward, Greedy Williams and their safeties deal with those fourth quarter Jackson-to-Hollywood passes that will inevitably rain down.

6. The NFL referees must grow actual third eyes, preferably on their foreheads, because apparently two eyes apiece ain’t cutting it, and the last thing these flailing Cleveland Browns need is the Black and Whites working against them once again.

Otherwise, it doesn’t look good for these Browns facing the dominant Baltimore Ravens, because at this point Cleveland seems to be falling apart under Kitchens and in desperate need of some type of over-the-top magic (like cursed feet and wings and extra arms and eyes and insight).

Regardless, I’m sticking to my word and predicting the Browns to win, to beat those Ravens.

Should be fun to watch all that Cleveland Browns magic actually happen.

Final Score Prediction: Browns 24, Ravens 23

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