6 ways to make crowd-less Cleveland Browns games more bearable

Crowdless Cleveland Browns games suggestion no. 1) Multi-mic the field so we can really hear the hits

This one seems like a no-brainer and the easiest adjustment to make since the NFL does not suffer a lack of equipment and they already sorta do this.  Everyone who’s ever stood on an NFL sideline (I haven’t) claims the intensity and sound and energy of these giant players colliding into each other is un-freakin-believable. Earth-shattering. Bone rattling.

So, mic it up. Every player, coach, ref, even the first down marker guy wears a tiny microphone. Quadruple the parabolic mic budget. That way in those cavernous empty stadiums, those hits will explode and echo, and WE at home will get to experience the beefy sound of all that brutality and sheer power through our home studios. Please, make us crap our Browns gear.

Of course, with all those mics, they may have to go with a 3-second “curse” delay ‘cause some of these athletes are, ahem, expressive.

Crowdless Cleveland Browns games suggestion no. 2) Put mini-cameras on EVERYone

How cool would it be to see exactly what Baker Mayfield sees from under center? And what Denzel Ward is looking at from the secondary? And what Kevin Stefanski finds interesting in the middle of a play? Put a camera on everyone and let the producer sort it out.

Granted, 100 different live streams could be a nightmare, but that’s what computers are for. Some brilliant nerds did that for the NFL Draft and it was flawless – pay them big money to do the same for these crowd-less games. Couple that with all those mics we just added and that lets us fans at home really absorb the game like we’re on the roster.

And while you’re at it, give the SkyCam operator permission to get “dangerous,” and maybe at halftime throw a GoPro on a friendly monkey and let him run around the empty stadium.