Cleveland Browns fans: 6 ways to shut up a Steelers fan
By Mike Lukas
Six effective ways for Cleveland Browns fans to silence a nasty Steelers fan
In 1975, I was 10 and at Municipal Stadium for a Cleveland Browns game when I witnessed a brutal, bare-knuckle fight between a Browns fan and a Steelers fan. It made an impression on me, mostly because the Browns were playing the Jets that day. Now that’s a rivalry.
The Cleveland Browns have been my NFL team since 1972 and, despite my best efforts, some of my dear friends are Steelers fans. And though I try not to hold this debilitating mental affliction against them, every now and again I must.
That’s because occasionally my yellow-and-black-lovin’ buds will take cocky cheap shots at my dear Brownies and loudly mock my allegiance to them. So over time, I’ve been forced to develop some solid defensive counter-moves that allow me to walk away from these football ‘disagreements’ with my burnt-orange-and-seal-brown-clad head held high.
Master these half dozen tactics and be publicly Browns-shamed by Steelers fans no more.
Warning: these suggestions are meant for defensive purposes only. Offensively, they could backfire until a Cleveland Super Bowl win – use only as directed.
Browns v Steelers Fans: Tactic #1 – implement the “NOW” shift
There’s no getting around it – despite the Browns’ dominance in the 80’s and before color TV, the Pittsburgh Steelers have historically won more NFL championships than the Cleveland Browns, six to four.
But mention THAT to a Steelers fan and he will inevitably go straight to “FOUR??? Those don’t count – they were so long ago they weren’t even called Super Bowls.”
Don’t let that trigger you! Instead, hit him with Tactic #1 and bring it back to the “NOW.”
Tell him, “You’re right,” (though he’s wrong) “so let’s talk about nowadays.” Then say loudly enough for the whole room to hear, “Did you know that for the last two seasons, the Browns have been to the playoffs and won the same number of Super Bowls as the Steelers? Google it!” Then silence.
Watch his eyes go vacant as his brain realizes the “stats” you just cherry-picked are embarrassingly true and then, before more “But, but, but Super Bowls!” nonsense squirts out his Primanti-caked mouth-hole, attack him with…