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Cleveland Browns fans: 6 ways to shut up a Steelers fan

By Mike Lukas

OAKLAND, CA - SEPTEMBER 30: Baker Mayfield #6 of the Cleveland Browns tells to the crowd to be quiet after the Browns scored a touchdown against the Oakland Raiders at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum on September 30, 2018 in Oakland, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
OAKLAND, CA - SEPTEMBER 30: Baker Mayfield #6 of the Cleveland Browns tells to the crowd to be quiet after the Browns scored a touchdown against the Oakland Raiders at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum on September 30, 2018 in Oakland, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images) /
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CLEVELAND, OH – NOVEMBER 04: A general view during the game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Cleveland Browns at FirstEnergy Stadium on November 4, 2018 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images) /

Browns vs Steelers Fan: Tactic #4 – the Newer Stadium Jab

At this point, you might be tempted to shove a quick history lesson in their face about Paul Brown teaching Chuck Noll the basics of football or about Bill Cowher learning all he knows from Marty Schottenheimer, but they’ll be expecting that. “Super Bowls!”

Instead, use Tactic #4 to take them off guard:

“Oh yeah, well if the Steelers are more dedicated to their precious team and fans, then why do the Browns’ have a newer stadium than them? Ha!”

Only by a year, so to prevent an easy rebuttal be sure to quickly:

Browns vs Steelers Fan: Tactic #5 – Exert Aquatic Authority

Throw this quickie geographical misdirection into your final barrage of insults:

“Dude, Cleveland’s better than Pittsburgh on so many levels. We have way more than three rivers plus we got a lake, and our lake is one of the GREAT ones! Google it.”

At this point, you’ve either already won or (more likely) you’re backed into an awkward corner.

Either way, it’s time for…

Browns vs Steelers Fan: Tactic #6 – the Ol’ Cheap Shot 1-2-3

In case of emergency, break glass – and if you’re whipping out this final tactic, then things have gotten desperate. Relax, take a deep breath (tough to do standing close to a Steelers’ fan, I know) and get ready for your Browns mic-drop moment.

Floor that Steelers fan with these three (arguably) “cheap” shots to secure the win:

  1. “Oh yeah? Well, at least the Browns don’t have to pay their players extra $ to hit hard!”
  2. “Oh yeah? Well at least nobody’s ever ripped the helmet off a Browns player and smacked him upside the head with it on national television!”
  3. “Oh yeah? Well, our punter can kick your punter’s…!”

“Bye, Stooler…”

It’s not pretty, granted, but what sports rivalry is?

When all the dust settles, though, and your Steelers friend’s fat tears are all dabbed and dried, make sure to hug it out (from six feet, of course) and let him know there are no hard feelings.

You root for different teams, sure, but you both believe in the same religion – football – and it’s that bond that’s worth celebrating with every fan of the game.

Next. Does history favor Browns in 2020?. dark

Even the ones that say “Yins” and smell like old ketchup.

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