5 things we learned about Cleveland post-draft

Cleveland was the center of attention for the weekend as it hosted the 2021 NFL Draft

The 2021 NFL Draft came and went through Cleveland quicker than Peyton Hillis’ gameday case of strep throat. If you’re one of the many fans suffering from draft withdrawal, doctors recommend looking back at what we learned about Cleveland following draft weekend:

1. Tailors beware

Local tailors and seamstresses need to run the other way if Myles Garrett walks through the door. When Garrett announced the Cleveland Browns third-round draft pick on Friday evening his Avengers-like physique was on full display. The defensive ends pipes were bursting through the seams of his tailor-made suit. You could almost hear the threads of his suit screaming for help.

2. Statue planning in progress

Any area sculptors looking for work should start planning for the Andrew Berry statue outside of First Energy Stadium. The architect behind the Browns’ first post-season victory in 26 years somehow gained even more affection from Browns fans during draft weekend.

Berry nabbed two highly sought-after defensive players: Greg Newsome II and Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah with Cleveland’s first two selections. That alone would be reason enough to continue the year-long celebration of Berry’s praises.

But factor in the selection of a Buckeye (defensive tackle Tommy Togiai), something Browns fans clamor for every year, and Berry’s approval rating is now reaching Bernie Kosar levels near the lake.

3. Keep on Run(ning) DMC

Darryl “DMC” McDaniels of Run DMC fame may want to wait a (long) while before booking any concerts in Cleveland. After the rapper stepped to the podium to announce a Steelers pick dressed in that disgusting black and yellow, it’s unlikely Browns fans will be asking DMC to Walk This Way anytime soon.

4. Power 5 gets the attention

If you want to put the post-college entry-level marketing career on hold and give playing for the Browns a shot, make sure you play for one of the power five schools. Of the Browns’ 16 draft picks over the last two seasons, 14 played for power five schools. The lone exception this year was fourth-round tackle James Hudson from the University of Cincinnati.

5. Macho, Macho Fan

“Macho Fan” could run for Mayor of Cleveland tomorrow and win with ease. The Browns super fan stood toe to toe with commissioner Roger Goddell on Friday night and had the Cleveland crowd in a frenzy before announcing their second-round pick.

Whether in the Muni Lot, the Dawg Pound, or The Draft’s Main Stage, Macho Fan drops the elbow on every other team’s superfan.