New PAT Rules – Another Cleveland Browns Hosing

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Sep 7, 2014; Pittsburgh, PA, USA; Cleveland Browns kicker Billy Cundiff (8) kicks an extra point from the hold of punter Spencer Lanning (5) against the Pittsburgh Steelers during the third quarter at Heinz Field. The Steelers won 30-27. Mandatory Credit: Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

Not to diss’ my new friend, FanSided colleague and (hopefully forgiving) editor Thomas Moore, but he must be having some of what Johnny was having if he thinks the NFL’s new point-after rules won’t hurt the Cleveland Browns.

Maybe it’s the injuries to Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving of the Cleveland Cavaliers that has me in one of my my usual “God Hates Cleveland” funks, but I’m not alone in thinking moving extra-point attempts from the two-yard line to the 15-yard line hurts the Browns worse than any other team:

  • Wonder about the timing? Seems like place kicker has been the only consistently good thing the Browns have enjoyed – Don Cockroft, Matt Bahr, Matt Stover, Phil Dawson, even Billy Cundiff in both stints with the team – chip shots and extra points were the only things we didn’t worry about on Sundays – at least compared to all the other terrible stuff.
  • Now the NFL moves the goal posts and we’ve got two nameless kickers on the roster (Carey Spear and Travis Coons) – neither of whom has ever even appeared in an NFL regular season game. Although one guy’s from Mayfield, so he’s our new hometown hero – but this ain’t like kicking against Brush or even St. Ignatius.
  • Only place harder to kick than into the Dawg Pound end zone – doing it from the infield dirt in the old Stadium.
  • When touchdowns are as rare as they are for the Browns, every point becomes that much more valuable.

Looking back, the Browns made NFL history with the last change in the point after, when on Sept. 4, 1994, Westlake’s own Tom Tupa shocked fans everywhere by pulling a Lucy on Stover and scoring the league’s first two-point conversion. (Just our Cleveland luck that the pre-genius Bill Belichick took advantage rather than bend the rules …).

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But digging deeper into the Browns’ misery locker another extra point may have been the first sign that well, we are cursed. Everyone remembers Red Right 88. And while then-head coach Sam Rutigliano told Brian Sipe to throw it to a girl in the stands if no one was open, would Rutigliano have even dared to pass if Ted Hendricks hadn’t blocked normally rock-solid Cockroft’s extra-point attempt following Ron Bolton‘s TD return in the first half?

True Browns’ fans know how this will play out, probably in the opener in the Meadowlands. The Browns and the equally offensively impotent New York Jets will play a scoreless snooze fest until Tashaun Gibson jumps a Geno Smith pass for a TD. Then (one of the nameless kickers or some 40-year old retread) blows the extra point – making NFL history again as the first kicker to miss the new extra point.

A long kick return, a personal foul, a Smith scramble on fourth-and-six and a heave into the end zone at the gun. Nick Folk justifies the franchise tag as he boots the 33-yard attempt through the upright. J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets 7-6 final.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Next: 4 Questions on TE Randall Telfer