Cleveland Browns: "Play Like a Brown" means to be awful

Sep 13, 2015; East Rutherford, NJ, USA; Cleveland Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel (2) walks off the field after their game against the New York Jets at MetLife Stadium. The Jets defeated the Browns 31-10. Mandatory Credit: Ed Mulholland-USA TODAY Sports

I’ve tried, really tried to endlessly support the Cleveland Browns.

“Win, lose (a lot) or tie, I’m a Browns fan till I die” to paraphrase Shakespeare. But I fear that the latest incarnation of the Cleveland Browns has pushed me to the brink of pitching all my memorabilia, shirts, signed footballs, helmets and the like and giving up.

I’ve been a Browns fan for 50 years, have tirelessly defended this franchise against all the Steeler fans, Raven crazies and Bengal lovers with the belief that “this year” the Browns would be good. But they just don’t get any better. Ever. Year after year after mind-numbing year, the well meanings of the coaching staff, the assurances of the executives, and the promise of a new year suck me in just like thousands of others.

Every year the fans believe, and every year the players, coaches and brass let us down. No, they don’t just let us down, they destroy us, crushing mercilessly every hope we have for our football team.

Every year, the head coach comes up with some witty phrase to characterize the team. “It’s a process.” “One game at a time.” “They played their guts out. “Play like a Brown.” Ad nauseum.

But just what exactly does “Play Like a Brown” mean? Has Mike Pettine ever told us?

If I were to surmise, I’d say it means to play terribly, or to be unavailable to play at all. Apparently, that’s “Playing Like a Brown”!

I watch other teams play on Sundays and they are a genuine pleasure to watch, effortlessly moving the ball up and down the field, defending passes and runs with equal ease. They are well-oiled machines, and are good year after year after year. Even when they have a “down” year, they come right back the following season better than ever.

Yes, they draft well, and are coached well, but why can’t the Browns find the magic elixir that lets them become the Denver Broncos or the New England Patriots?

I believe it is a combination of a seemingly long list of failures.

I endlessly hear on the radio about “Camp Cupcake” at the Browns facility, an unending stream of players lined up on excercise bikes, casually peddling to nowhere. I honestly don’t believe that one could visit New England and find a dozen Patriots on bikes. And having visited Pittsburgh, I can assure you that this is not the case with the Steelers.

General manager Ray Farmer has tried to convince us from the beginning that he is the smartest guy in the room, yet he doesn’t always send people to the Pro Days of players he hopes to draft. The Browns consistently try to reinvent the wheel, doing things differently than the rest of the NFL.

Team owner Jimmy Haslam talks about “not accepting bad behavior from Browns players,” but he clearly accepts it. Tell me that Bill Belichick would put up with Gilbert’s nonsense, or Dwayne Bowe‘s injuries. Both of them would have been released weeks ago, and rightfully so.

Aug 20, 2015; Cleveland, OH, USA; Cleveland Browns head coach Mike Pettine during the first half against the Buffalo Bills at FirstEnergy Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Ken Blaze-USA TODAY Sports

Mr. Farmer, Mr. Haslam, Mr. Pettitne, it’s not working! Stop thinking you are smarter than everybody else and just do your job correctly!

Often times, it seems that the Browns put up with all of this silliness from players because they are afraid they can’t get anyone else to fill the spot, so they just let the prima donnas run the asylum. The Browns seemingly must beg players to come here, paying way to much for them and, once they are here, those players coast.

So many of the Browns’ players (not all mind you) seem to not really care about this team or winning. Too many are not invested in this city and don’t really care about the fans who pay their salaries. They just collect their check, make an appearance on Sunday, and retire to Boca Raton. How many players have signed here in the twilight of their careers, played a season or less, got conveniently injured, and disappeared into the ether of retirement?

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The difference between a team like New England and Cleveland is simple, a coach like Belichick and an owner like Robert Kraft would never put up with the crap from players that the Browns do. In New England (and Dallas and Denver and Pittsburgh, etc.), there is an expectation, a demand for excellence, and a single-minded focus on winning. Step out of line, and you’re gone.

The Browns have no such demands. They say they do, but if the preparation and execution of Sunday’s game plan is any indication, the demand “bar” is set pretty low.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Pettine a lot and I believe he can do well here. But honestly, coach, if you can’t get your team more fired up to play than you did against the Jets you need to be in another line of work.

We’ve seen this repeatedly since 1999: a key player gets hurt and the whole team folds. Sunday it was Josh McCown, last year it was Alex Mack. That doesn’t happen to good teams. Just look at the play of the Dallas Cowboys last Sunday night: star wide receiver Dez Bryant gets injured and the Cowboys play on, coming back from 10 down to win. That is because the expectation in Dallas is to win, no excuses, just win!

I know I speak for thousands when I say that I have grown weary of hoping for a quality team, wins and playoffs, and getting a bad high school team to watch on Sundays.

What do you think, Browns fans? Is it time to give up the ship?

Next: Browns vs. Titans: 5 best games of all-time

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Apparently, “Play Like a Brown” means to be awful

By Mark Riley | Sep 16, 2015

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