Heard the one about the Browns?
By Mike Lukas
The Cleveland Browns have been the league’s laughingstock since 1999. Dawg Pound Daily writer Mike Lukas, a retired professional comedian, shares some of the best jokes he’s heard about the team.
Here’s a Browns joke I used to tell on stage:
What’s worse than being a Browns fan?
Being their first down marker guy. It’s freezing cold and he’s not allowed to move until the Browns make a first down.
Granted, it’s not spectacular (or incredibly original, to be honest) but sadly it got laughs from audiences year after year. Browns jokes have been steady chuckle-getters for quite a few seasons now, but from what I’ve been reading lately all that’s about to change. *Year Two* of the Great Rebuild is now complete and the glorious *Year Three* is about to take place with all its promised turn arounds and predicted draft and free agency miracles.
More from Dawg Pound Daily
- How the Browns could maximize Nick Chubb in 2023
- Can Deshaun Watson get to Patrick Mahomes level for Cleveland Browns?
- 3 Cleveland Browns who should see an expanded role in 2023 and 1 who should not
- Is Marcus Davenport on the Browns radar in 2023?
- 5 Free agents from Super Bowl LVII Cleveland Browns should target
Call me a foolish optimist, but the Browns front office will make good on their promises (go on, Charlie Brown, kick the ball again) and we’re going to watch a 2018 team deliver some respectable wins.
And you know what that means: Browns jokes will no longer be funny.
Don’t think so? Try telling a ‘Vikings Suck’ joke after last weekend’s NFC Divisional Playoff game against the New Orleans Saints and you’ll hear the crickets. Same thing will happen with Browns jokes once the Jimmy Haslam-John Dorsey-Hue Jackson promised-phenomenal-comeback begins to take place.
And it’s about to because they said it will.
To celebrate, here is a collection of some Browns jokes I’ve seen online over the years. If you have any better ones, it would be great to read them in the comments below. Thanks to all of the “hilarious” people who helped make the painfully long “about to end” chapter of Browns losing a bit easier to bear.
That said, I now present a small collection of Browns jokes, funny for the last time ever. Let’s begin with one from the site fazemo:
"Q: How do the Browns count to 10?A: 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10."
Here’s a few from jokes4us, who nicely put together about a million Browns jokes:
"My wife was about to put my son in a Cleveland Browns jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard."
"Q: What do Alex Trebek and the Hugh Jackson have in common?A: Both of their jobs are in Jeopardy"
"Q: What’s the difference between the Browns and cigarettes?A: Mike Tomlin doesn’t smoke cigarettes"
"Q: How many Browns fans does it take to change a light bulb?A: None, they are happy living in Baltimore’s shadow!"
"Q: What’s the difference between the Cleveland Browns and a dollar bill?A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill."
"I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.They put a Browns jersey on it and now it sucks again."
"Q: What do the Cleveland Browns and possums have in common?A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!"
"Q: How are the Cleveland Browns like my neighbors?A: They can’t pick up a single yard!"
"Q: What is a Cleveland Browns fan’s favorite wine?A: “We can’t beat Pittsburgh.”"
"Q: What does an Cleveland Browns fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?A: He turns off the PlayStation 3."
"Q: Where do you go in Cleveland in case of a tornado?A: Cleveland Browns Stadium – they never get a touchdown there!"
And finally, here’s the best of the Tweets that jokeblogger compiled:
"I wear a Cleveland Browns jersey to let people know I suffer from seasonal depression. #NFL #footballseason"
"This week, I was rejected by a Cleveland Browns fan. You’d think after all my years of false hope and no scoring that she’d be all over me."
"At this point the Cleveland Browns have become the red shirt guy on an episode of Star Trek"
"In retrospect, the saddest part of Halloween was the kids dressed as the Cleveland Browns who were not strong enough to ring our doorbell."
"Shoutout to the two Browns fans chanting “Here We Go Browns” to the tune of “Here We Go Steelers” #PITvsCLE"
"NFL is going to relax penalizing touchdown dances. “Pray tell of these touchdown dances of which you speak.” Said the Cleveland Browns."
"I don’t think anyone realizes how hard it is to go 1-31 over the course of two seasons. #Browns"
"Miami Dolphins coach Adam Case “We’re the worst offense in football.”Cleveland Browns – “Who are we, chopped liver?”"
"How to Draft A Quarterback by the Cleveland Browns #UnpopularYouTubeTutorials"
Can’t wait read your favorite Browns jokes below – good thing they won’t be funny much longer.