‘Twas the Night Before Training Camp


‘Twas the night before training camp, and all through the city,
Not many Cleveland sports fans were sleeping, ‘cuz most were probably out getting sh**ty.
I was one of the few that was home in my bed,
With visions of the upcoming Browns season filling my head.

I saw the Walrus in a ‘kerchief, and Mangini in a cap,
Just settling down for what appeared to be a final pre-training camp rap.
“Now, Eric, you impressed me with that late season run,
But the Walrus goes to Super Bowls,
5-11 seasons won’t get it done.
Eight games you have to prove yourself to me, maybe less,
If those men aren’t performing, you’ll be exiting stage left.”

Coach Mangini merely nodded, without even a word,
He was well aware of the stakes, he understood what he heard.
But before he could leave, there arose a loud clatter,
The Walrus hobbled over to the window to see what was the matter.

And, what to my dreaming eyes next did appear?
But Superman! In a #16 jersey, moving swiftly through the night sky like a deer.
Leading the team, so powerful, so shifty and quick,
I knew in an instant, it must be St. Cribbs!

More solid than ever, his teammates they came,
He juked and he jived, then he spun and shouted their names:
“Hey, Jake! Now, Joe! And Jerome, and Montario!
Follow my lead, and away we will go,
To the top of the North! To the top of the wall!
Let’s win some football games, fellas! Let us ball!”

I then awoke from my slumber, startled but optimistic as ever,
With St. Cribbs and the Walrus, things will surely get better.

Happy Training Camp Eve, Browns fans,
And to all a good night!

(Sorry if you thought that post was lame, but I don’t really care. Football is finally here and I’m excited for another season of Browns football. It feels like Christmas to me, dammit. Time to put the Le-bacle behind us and focus on the Browns!)