The Remote Report: The Cleveland Browns’ Season Isn’t Over Just Yet
By Kevin Nye
So the Browns keep losing. The Cincinnati Bengals are coming up in Week Six and they’re not nearly as bad as fans hope they are. As we’re accustomed to, our anti-heroes are finding creative and exhilarating ways to lose, yet the fans who have spent fourteen years saying “I just wish they were competitive” are now complaining even harder about losing (side note: did you really expect the Browns to beat the New York Giants? Really? If yes, why? How? Don’t be dumb.).
But from a fan’s standpoint, what now? You’re upset, sure. You’re a little disappointed, of course. Do we chalk this season up as a failure? Do we complain about virtually everything we can think of? Do we continue to act like the front office enjoys losing? If we do that, I’m going to hate all of you. A lot. The Browns don’t like losing. They also don’t like people sitting on their couch at home thinking they know more about football than those whose entire professional lives have been dedicated to the sport.
Perhaps worst of all, do we cave and start looking ahead to the 2013 NFL Draft?
Please say no. Please. I don’t want to do that. The draft is exhausting and kind of stupid when you think about it. Furthermore, there
are still 11 games left in the current season. The road to respectability is a thing, right? I realize this is a literal impossibility for those who follow Cleveland football, but can we at least pretend to look on the bright side?
Remember how the Browns’ secondary has been getting absolutely torched for the past few weeks? Well, cornerback Joe Haden is back and he’s pretty good at stopping passes from being completed for touchdowns. I may be a crazy person, but it seems to me that his presence would have been the difference maker when these two teams met in Week Two. Not only will he man up against one of the biggest threats in the NFL, but he’s also going against Andy Dalton.
Another surprisingly good sign: Look at quarterback Brandon Weeden’s stats. They’re terrible, right? Subtract his opener against Philadelphia and then look at them again. They’re mediocre, right? Mediocre is a victory, dear readers. Not only is it a victory because the incumbent was decidedly mediocre on his best days, but it’s also a victory because Weeden is a rookie. Mediocrity from a rookie is great. Anomalies happen (See Cam Newton in 2011) but they are often brought back to reality (see Cam Newton in 2012). Competency is really all I want in a quarterback right now, especially when there is a stud running back burgeoning alongside that quasi-competency.
Maybe I’m just talking out of my beautifully sculpted tush, but I also think that Weeden will have one or two breakout, monster games this season. I’m not even saying the Browns will win these games, but I do think that he’ll have a 350-yard game here and there. The downside is that it means there will be less carries for The Sculpture. I’m nicknaming Trent Richardson “The Sculpture.” Maybe the Action Figure. I can’t decide. He looks fake because he’s so jacked. You get the point. Anyway, if Weeden is throwing for 350 yards, the team should probably be rushing more, but what do I know about things?
See? I don’t know everything.